It’s Thanksgiving. For many, many years, we’ve spent this day with the Crutchfield side of the family. Food. Family. Football. That’s been our day for the past 20 years. And so, here we are, in Arkansas, with Vance’s family but without Vance. I silently cried when we crossed the state line. I’ve been here dozens…

Two are stronger than one and a three-fold cord cannot easily be broken. That’s probably the first Bible verse any of my kids memorized. It’s from the fourth chapter of Ecclesiastes and long ago Vance adopted it as our family motto. He would randomly just ask the kids, “What’s the family motto?” And from the…

Do the next right thing. These seem to be the words that stuck with people from the funeral. They’re the words the guys at Vance’s work put on the wall. What relatives are getting tattooed on their bodies. That my dear friend so kindly had put on a necklace for me. They are powerful words.…

People or things? Vance used to ask the kids that all the time. The answer was always “People.” People are always more important than things. Practically, that plays out in a lot of ways. By putting down or turning off electronic devices when people need your attention. If you’re watching a movie and someone knocks…

How are you? It’s such an American thing to say. We don’t even mean it most of the time. Usually you could replace the phrase with a simple “hello” and no one would care. But when your person dies and you see someone for the first time, “How are you?” becomes “How are you?” It’s…