Today marks my fiftieth trip around the sun. In that time, I’ve seen, collected, visited, and held many things.

One half century.

Two inside dogs and two bachelor’s degrees.

Three minivans.

Four amazing children. Four teaching jobs in four schools. Four trips out of my home country.

Five years finishing a masters’ degree.

Six homes.

Seven homeschool co-ops.

Eight undefeated tee ball teams.

Twelve years homeschooling.

Fourteen years teaching public school.

Sixteen states visited.

Twenty years of marriage.

Twenty-one Vacation Bible Schools.

Thirty-four states yet to see!

Roughly 502 public and homeschool co-op students.

18,262 sunrises.

Most importantly, the plethora of people who have molded me into the person I now am. My parents. of course. My siblings. My family. My great-grandmother who spoiled me like none other. My friends and even my frenemies. The terrible boss who made me quit a job I otherwise loved. The boy who gave me his heart only to have me selfishly break it. The baby I miscarried. The neighbors who taught me to love outside of my usual circles. The pastor who showed me unconditional love and grace, and the one who called my family “weeds” when we disagreed with him. The friend who texted every single day for six months after Vance died and the ones who just didn’t know what to say. The husband who brought calm to my chaos. The nurse who showed me to the quiet closet on the burn floor where I could cry in private. The veteran teacher who supported me through my first years in the classroom. The campus pastor who taught me to leave on Fridays with “Have a hilarious weekend.” The mean girls. The friends who stopped by with a kind note or a Pepsi. And so very many more. The ones that I have helped and also the ones I have hurt. The ones who blessed me and the few who have cursed me. Each of them has helped bring me to who I am today.

Fifty years have changed a lot of things about me. Other things are just the same as they always were. I am more laid back than I used to be. I have more patience most of the time. However, the years have not made me any more lovable in the mornings. I still hate waking up to an alarm. I’m still someone who loves to sing (be it ever so poorly) loud and dance in the kitchen. I have not yet become, nor do I ever see myself becoming, a person who manages to keep it cool when it comes to June bugs. They will always freak me out.

Fifty years have brought me to a place where the things I am 100% certain of are few. 1. The God of the Bible is real, loves you, and wants relationship with you. 2. You can’t make someone understand what they have not lived through. 3. High fructose corn syrup is killing us, but it tastes so dang good!

The things I am unsure of? That list is infinitely longer. The more years I put behind me, the more I am aware of all that I do not know. Twenty-one year-old Kelsy would never have believed that 50 year-old Kelsy is okay with this, but here I am. Embracing the unknown and holding fast to the few Truths I now understand.

Likely, I will not get another full 50 years on this earth, so I’m deciding today that I’ll make the years I have left the best ones yet.